I had to ask myself this question just this week. I am starting to feel like I am too comfortable at my job. I work with a lot of interesting people and sometimes we get our personal relationships confused with work. This can definitely cause problems. Especially when you are in management. Yeah, I have a lot of respect problems. When I first got promoted, I was putting down the iron fist. (I am the youngest manager, everyone is older than me) So I definitely had to fight to get respect! So when I started I was being… I guess tough. I had people talking to my supervisor about me.
The main problem would be that I wasn’t friendly enough. Now let me explain their friendly. Friendly to them is not a “hello how are you” no it’s more of telling them all your business. I never have been much of a talker, so when I decided to step up, I knew that could work for and against me. So after many pow-wows with my manager and her feeling as if I am not friendly enough. I lightened up and began to joke and kid around with them. A year later, I have no respect. Why? Well, I became their friend and stop managing them. I never wanted to mix our work with our personal relationships. But, in the end they won and now I have big problems.
See, I knew my approach was correct the first way. I was cordial with them but that was it. They knew I meant business. Now, I can’t even get them to do hardly anything without some type of back talk. I was never mean to them. NEVER, regardless of what they could possibly say. See, since I don’t talk much I am almost mute half the time. I can go an entire day and only talk to you about work-related issues. They weren’t having it and neither was my boss. They take things like that personal. They don’t realize that, that is the way a WORK environment should be. Even though I was nice, I had more rules during shifts. Working in a restaurant where everything we do can be seen, means we have to be careful of everything we do. I had a one cigarette every two hrs. rule. No unnecessary breaks. All the usual things most employers require. But after getting a lot of complaints that I made them WORK too hard I had to figure out ways to make my shift easier. (Most of the complaints came from the ones who sat on their butts during other shifts)
So, I basically let them smoke when they feel like it. If they want to sit down and chill then it’s whatever. And to be honest, I have gotten more laid back myself. My work has slacked off b/c just like they are buddy-buddy with me. I am the same with my boss. I like her don’t get me wrong, I just see her as more of a friend sometimes. So the respect has pretty much jumped out the window. There are six managers at my store, and none of us have the respect we need. When I came to this realization, I knew that I had to personally fix a few things.
First, the old manager in me is coming back. I will go back to how I started. They may not have liked me but I had their respect. I have a lot of relationships I have to fix. I have to wipe the slate clean with all of them and start completely over. Because a few of them I can’t stand to work with. I have to speak with my boss also. She has the tendency to be too involved in their personal affairs and that also crosses the line. I warned her to stay out of their lives that don’t involve work but I get ignored. I know for a fact that this will end up biting her in the butt. How I know? Because, of how they talk. Some of them don’t really like her in their business, unless they involve her themselves. She crosses the line in a lot of ways but that’s another post.
I will have to let her know that, I don’t want to know anything about these people anymore. Why? Because the more I know the more I judge them, not on their work but about their personal lives. I do good keeping my business to me. Always have, I am not open at all. So they know only what I allow them. Which is nothing. I may say something here and there, but it’s never really nothing serious. I have one guy that I dislike so much. Yes, he has a smart mouth but I dislike him b/c of what I have HEARD about him. So does she. She continuously talks to his gf about what she should do in her relationship. SEE!! This is where I mean the lines have been crossed.
Another reason I knew I had a problem was when, I would come back off of a vacation or break and they felt like I owed them an explanation as to where I was. No sir I don’t owe you that. They would stand there waiting and when I say that’s my business, I end up getting a talk about being rude. No, they need to know their place. Now they do my boss the same way and she hates it. So I guess she see how I feel. So since I am like that, I get called uppity and that I am being mean and rude! SMH!
I don’t care what they do but when I am there those will be the rules. Your emotions stop at the door. You leave all your problems in your car. (Which only a handful have, that’s an entirely different post) We won’t come back telling what we saw someone doing during their free time. The only reason we know so much is b/c they all live in the same (no lie) trailer park. So one of them, we will call that person MODAMOUTH comes and tells everything.
She will be getting a talk from me also. It’s not her place to tell their business. If they want us to know they will tell us. She never tells her own business. How ironic. So, to rap this up, I will be working on being their manager and not their friend. I don’t need their friendship at all. I just need their respect. No hanging out!! Which I don’t do and that also pisses them off. SMH!! I will be having talks with some of them to wipe the slate clean and moving forward! So to answer my question. Yes, I was too comfortable at work and so are some of you. Not anymore!
*MUAH*