I know I wrote a post on friendships a while ago but lately I’ve noticed that a lot of people still do not know the difference. I think it’s pretty ridiculous that adults are still confused about friends and frenemies. This won’t be long because I wrote on this before but be careful who you talk to and confide in. I was on twitter (the place where niggas never meet but always beef). I watched an exchange of people going back and forth with each other and secrets and text were all online for the world to see. Let me say this so y’all will understand. Everyone you meet is NOT your friend. You shouldn’t be telling secrets to folks you really don’t know. Friendships are relationships and just like your “romantic dealings” they need time to grow. Stop rushing to be besties with someone just because they seem nice.
I know we all love twitter or whatever but be careful in who you confide in on there also. I have met some great people on twitter that I speak with offline but at the end of the day I don’t know them niggas so I am still careful of what I put out there. I do this in my everyday life also because I am cautious with my feelings. Y’all just gotta chill. Jesus Martin Christ. Just figure it out and if you need some help click here. Maybe that old post can help you out some.
So today is/was (depending on when you read this) my birthday. There was no excitement no parties and no liquor just me, my mind and my thoughts. I didn’t want to do celebratory things just because I honestly didn’t feel I had much to celebrate besides life and I thank Jesus daily for that.
What I wanted to do and did was reflect on the past year and make opportunities for the future year. I thought about how one year ago today I was at work bawling (so serious it was a first and last) about how the situation I was in was not my life. I mean literally in the office repeatedly saying, “this isn’t my life, this is not suppose to be my life”. Yet after that day I changed nothing. The most I did was change jobs and Lord knows that was needed. But when it came to dreams, goals and aspirations I did nothing to change my life.
Now I am 24 and I know I got to change things about myself because I refuse to let a dream die inside of me. REFUSE! I been watching #basedgodoprah and she has been talking about being a better you and having the faith of mustard seeds. Things we all know and learned as kids but they never quite made since until now.
She said to stop throwing pity parties about your past so that you can grow and stop blaming others for your failures. She told me (yep we be talking) to stop listening to what others feel I should do with my life and do what I want. I really wish she was around in my teens, I would not have ended up in school but I digress. She just gave me so many “Aha moments” as she calls them and I made the vow that everyday I will write, go to my lessons regularly, I will make contacts and network until I get to where I want to be.
I see my peers doing so much and yes we all have that little voice that sometimes says, “look at you, you ain’t shit and you haven’t accomplished anything with your life.” But that voice will be no more for me. I will no longer look at them and become depressed because I am not where I want to be but instead let it motivate me to work harder.
And I decided today was the perfect day to let the old Je’Tara go and start completely over since I started a new year. There is no reason my dreams should die inside of me. No reason. I’m going to live my best life now! And I am going to work like I never did before. I’ll be damned if I live the rest of my life working for someone else 9-5. And I am going back to something I used to tell my best friend all the time, “Nigga I ain’t meant to work no 9-5 because I am extraordinary not ordinary”.
Happy New Year Je’Tara Readers! Hope everyone enjoyed their holiday and brought the new year in safely. I wanted to give you guys some type of update on my life and the future of Je’Tara and the future of me. So here goes.
Twitter started this trending topic called #2010memories and I opted out because I really didn’t have much I wanted to remember. This was a hard year for me and very stressful. I cried more than I ever had, hurt more and for the first time didn’t have any push to try and fulfill any of the dreams I have. I mean, I didn’t attempt anything but this blog and even that became to hard to keep up with. I wasn’t able to focus on anything because I was so miserable and honestly I fell into a depression that I am still digging to get out of.
I am happy that 2010 is over but this new year doesn’t feel any different to me. I think I still feel the same because I am still at the same job, apartment and since Saturday nothing has changed. (Not that I expected a change that soon.) But now that we are in a new year I do hope to improve on a few things in my life. I pray to some way find all the dreams I buried inside me again. I wanna start back writing daily again. Start back my vocal lessons. Working out. All sorts of things that got put on hold this year I wanna do again. I mean I wasn’t born to be normal and comfortable and I plan to not live my life like that again. I wanna see Je’Tara (the blog) grow and expand.
I wont make any promises as to when I will be posting or how often. I think that was my biggest problem last year. I was saying I would do weekly post and when the day came to do them, I had no subject or either was too stressed to write anything. I got so excited when I started getting emails to write for different sites and when I saw my numbers go from a few hits a day to a few hundred that I got a little in over my head. So from here on out I am gonna take this blogging thing one day at a time.
Now on a personal note, I wanna start living. I been existing in the world for too long and I wanna know what it’s like to live and be free from everything. I heard my cousin say that he was free from people, especially family and people who wanna be family but have not quite made it yet. (That last part you had to be there to get it.) At the time it didn’t make much sense but today I think EXACTLY where he was coming from. So I wanna become that this year. I just wanna be free to be who Je’Tara is and not concern myself with what people think I should be.
Hopefully months won’t go by before I update again. Hopefully I get the drive I had when I first started and start back saving the world one post at a time. Wait… Okay so maybe I wasn’t saving the world but a few people were getting something from what I was saying.
Okay I gotta get ready for work so I will see you guys sometime in the new year!!! Enjoy your year and make it the best year of your life!
I been wanting to just put some of my favorite videos up for awhile but wasn’t sure how people would take it. Then I remember, Hey Je’Tara it’s your blog with your name on it so it doesn’t matter. So here are a few videos that I find hilarious and hopefully they will hold you over until Monday!
I think I’m B. Scott, Freshalina, Antoine Dodson and Mama Tina. (Thank YOU Kid Fury!)
I am sure you have seen all of these videos but I still find them hilarious. Enjoy your weekend.
Yesterday, MTV announced the first ever MTVTJ. I don’t know all the details about the job but I do know that it was a job that many bloggers desired. The prize was a job with MTV and 100,000 yearly. Now for many working for MTV would be a dream and the pay would be the most exciting part of the deal. Well they announced that GabiFresh would be the first to do the job.
Now I knew the shade and bashing was coming. Gabi is a beautiful plus size girl with a great blog. She isn’t well known in the blog world but obviously, she was known enough to make it as a finalist. My timeline (on twitter) jumped off after the announcement. There were people asking why would they let the fat girl win? You had people RT’ing their fans saying that they should have won. I mean shade was everywhere.
For one, why does it matter that she is fat? Like she dresses better than most women I see on a daily basis. She gives out great tips on how to be a fashionista on a budget. (I like that.) And she stays true to herself. She doesn’t sell out on her blog. Or keep it cute to keep the checks flowing in. SO honestly I would prefer someone like her because I know she will be more honest about entertainment and her information is more valuable.
I knew a few “bigger” bloggers would be upset. I mean here is this girl who only has about 10,000 followers on twitter, blog (guesstimate) probably get half of that in hits a month and she won. The contest was open to everyone. Not just bloggers but to everyday people. (I said that like bloggers aren’t everyday folk.) We all had the chance to get our followers to vote for us. But most were so inconsistent with it that it was their own fault they didn’t win. Which proved they would be inconsistent with the work because the job calls for heavy tweeting.
I don’t know I just feel as if the jealousy is so unnecessary. I mean here is this black blogger, who not only won for herself but us also. There is no black blog who is as big as TMZ and Perez Hilton. This may help her blog gain some recognition and in turn may help a few of us also. The blogging world is growing rapidly. I just don’t think I will ever understand how people can hate on someone for doing something so great. Or be jealous because they didn’t work hard enough to win the prize.
Stop the blog beefs because honestly that ish is getting old. Stop throwing shade because it’s not cute. Ugh okay I am done, plus I filled my quota for my Monday blog. Yay!!!
Excuse the bad quality. UGH I need to get camera equipment asasp. It does this whole chopped and screwed thing at certain points. Just ignore it. I am gonna briefly discuss what the videos are about.
Montana Fishburne (Laurence Fishburne daughter) has decided to do porn. In the videos I explain my thoughts and feelings about it. Below is my twitter rant that I had tonight. I was a little over everyone being extra about the situation so I kinda went off. Plus someone wrote a blog about how it was our fault that she decided to do porn. SMH I didn’t make her do but I understood his point. Let me know if you want the link to his blog.
Twitter Rant
Okay let me explain why I am asking this porn question because I know MAJORITY of you are on pornhub.com right now as we tweet.
The same people that are pissed that Montana Fishburne has decided to do porn are the same ones who look at it regularly.
You aren’t mad when it’s some plain chick doing it. You aren’t concerned with Pinky out there doing porn and making money. (the chick paid)
So why is it that everyone is up in arms about Montana doing porn? She is an adult just like the rest of them. Now if you are that
concerned you will be trying to speak to all those young ladies who have been in the game for years. Because some have been in it for years!
Don’t single her out because she is a celebrity child or the fact that she looks up to Kimmy K. it’s not right or fair. Yes it’s sad that
she chose this path but it’s her choice. Let her make this decision on her own. This is how I know no one really gives a sh** about it
because no one is trying to save the rest of these young girls or old women that are in the industry. SMH if you are gonna continue to
watch porn with all the others, then make sure you support her too. Don’t be biased or hypocritical to it.
Okay that was my twitter rant. LOL but that’s what I was feeling at the time. I also speak on all the weddings that took place this weekend. Er’body and their mama got hitched. Some shotgun some not. HAHA but no seriously, I am over the shade being thrown towards A. Keys. They are trying to make it right so get over it. Watch the videos and let me know your thoughts. I promise the camera situation will get better once I figure out why it freezes then screws my voice up.
Video Questions:
1. Is Laurence to blame?
2. Is Kim Kardashian to blame?
3. Is Brian Pumper at fault?
4. Do you feel Montana is an adult and can do what she pleases? Do you even see a problem with her choice? If it were you what would you do? Why do you think so many people are concerned with her doing porn but not the other ladies in the industry?
5. Are you over the whole A. Keys and Swizz situation? Also, what is your explanation as to why so many ladies continue to throw shade at them?
6. Do you think T.I. and Tiny looked nice during their wedding?
She really is a beautiful girl. She has horrible role models. I mean I love Kimmy K and I even asked Kim (on twitter) if I could be a Kardashian (stupid girl didn’t reply, hmph) but she is NOT a role model. All she needs is some guidance and someone to really explain to her what really goes on behind the scenes. A lot of these girls want out and she is about to get herself in. This will be hard to shake and I hope she understands that this may backfire on her.
Picture courtesy of TMZ.com and Vivid Entertainment
MUAH
*Leave on this site, Thanks* FreshXpress I promise to do something that you can post soon. Just not this one.
I am (having this conversation) speaking with a friend about relationships, religion and beliefs. So to brief you on it, here is the dilemma. They have different religious views and they feel differently about sex. Now both have A religion but not the same one. He feels that sex before marriage is not right. Which biblically, it’s wrong. She feels differently. He feels that he is in love. They have been dating for six months and to me it’s more of infatuation but who am I to tell a man what he feels? She tells him she doesn’t feel she is right for him and that SHE would bring him down because she knows that he loves God more than her. To sum it up, his feelings are hurt because he is “In Love” and he really wants it to work but he knows it won’t.
My Opinion
Me personally, I am not going to throw away a good man because our religious beliefs are different. I don’t feel like it should be a deal breaker. Now when he asked me what I thought, I took a minute to think. I explained to him that I understood the sex situation. When you believe in how God planned it out then you aren’t going to want to budge on it. Especially if the other person lets you know that they aren’t willing to change or even try to abstain. I felt that he was doing the right thing by letting her go because she didn’t feel the need to wait any longer. I let him know that temptation is EVERYWHERE and that when you feel tempted you are gonna want someone there to stop you. Not seduce you or let your hormones run free. I also told him that I think she is a great woman for being honest with him and letting him know that she didn’t want to hold him back from his spiritual relationship.
I then proceeded to tell him that when it came to religion, it’s just a word. Christianity, Baptist, Jews and Catholics are just words. You can look them up in the dictionary, they’re probably in the thesaurus. But the relationship with God and Christ is where his focus should be. Many people have religions. They can walk around all day and throw up their religion set and c walk all through church reppin Christ. But without a relationship it means nothing.
It shouldn’t be a deal breaker. I think the only way I would be like, it’s a no go is if the person is an atheist. Then I know we would be battling about a lot of religious subjects. I mean why would I throw away a man because he is Baptist or Jewish? Considering it seems as if the pickings are slim to none, why would I let religion hold us back? Especially if we are in “love.” I am at a point in life where I am trying to see the beauty in everything. And a different religion and culture would be beautiful. Yeah we would maybe have a few tiffs here and there about certain things but not enough for me to say, “Naw my boy, I gots to go.”
Now I know some are saying, well what about church? If we are different religions then we won’t be in the same church. Umm yeah you can make that work also. Visit each others church every other Sunday or when you all worship. I just don’t see it as a big deal. I think you have to really want a relationship like this to work. Because religion is always a touchy subject.
Readers what do you think? Do you think religion and beliefs are a deal breaker? Do you think my friend is crazy because he is choosing NOT to have sex with this woman before marriage? What are your thoughts in general let me know in the comments section.
I choose to be my own person, that is gonna take some people some time to get used to. Don’t want to conform to the image that others want of me.
The Battle of YOU!
You are in a boxing ring, your opponent is masked and slowly throwing punches. You fight this person regularly but can’t figure out who it is because they are masked and you are accustomed to them. The fight is always the same and you always lose. This particular fight you win and the masked identity is revealed. It’s a clone of you. All these years you have fought you. You’re confused about it because why would you battle yourself? The only problem is, you are fighting your “created” image instead of the person you are.
I think a lot of people try to live up to the images that others create for them. Which ALWAYS ends up in a fail because it’s not who you truly are. The older I get, the more I find out who Je’Tara is. The more time I spend by myself, I learn that I like being with my thoughts. Not many people I know understand it but it gives me time to think about life, what I want out of it and a lot of other things.
As we live and grow, we get our own thoughts, sayings and create our own image. But when we are children thoughts, sayings and our image are placed in front us and we have no choice but to take it. You are like human puppets. They pull the strings and you perform depending on the string pulled. You get told to act this way and not like this. Don’t say this but say that. Worship this God but not that god. Wear this but not that. Everything is handed to you for you to conform/take to.
Then the teen years come, your peers and television began to tell you how to “be”. Since these are your more impressionable years you sometimes get lost in the image of what your peers want you to be. Then you are watching television and videos and they are feeding your image to you with flashy colors and lights and your whole self is becoming one ball of confusion.
Now you are an adult. And you are in a continuous match and each time you are finding ways to beat it. You start questioning who you are vs. who you want to be. You begin thinking of all the training and teachings you got as a child and wonder do they still apply? You basically wonder if you are your true self or the image of another?
You get to a point where you are tired and ready to win. So you put up your best fight and sucker punch that stranger bish in the mouth and win. You finally get control over you and your thoughts. You no longer worry about what others think or care about their suggestions. You become the image that you want and let your fictional character go. You start pulling the strings and performing your way. This is how it should be.
For those who like regular talk, Be you! Don’t be concerned with what anyone thinks or says because in the end NO ONE but God (if that’s your belief) matter. Their opinions shouldn’t have any relevance when it comes to your facts or life. You can take the suggestion and politely ball it up and trash it, if that’s what you choose. If you do something they don’t like screw em. You wanna be a hoe then screw me. (Cause you know I’on like it.) My opinion don’t count. To end this BE YOU and not a copy of someone else’s made up image for you.
I got a box where suggestions go but I don’t really give a f*** it’s probably best you know. (Drizzy Drake said it best. It’s my favorite line he EVER said.)
I kept trying to figure out what I should say today to my dad for Father’s Day. I got nothing. I wanted to dedicate a post to him but I couldn’t come up with anything inspiring or heartfelt. I really wanted to be able to put my feelings here for him because I know he visits from time to time. I knew that I wouldn’t see him today, which is beginning not to bother me as much as I get older.
I’ve never really celebrated with him, so I don’t have an idea of what I am missing. Today probably wasn’t the day to do a post for him anyway because this holiday is suppose to be positive. So next time, I guess. I guess all I can really say to him is Happy Father’s Day. Nothing more than that because that’s honestly all I feel at the moment.
Oh yeah Happy Fathers day to God! He is the bestest. Oh yeah and to my Uncle A.R. (Not the one y’all read about.) Now that was and still is the greatest father figure I know!!!
MUAH
(Decided to be positive so this will be the only Father’s Day Post I do today. I know I wanted to do two but why not let them have their day.)
Okay today is when I normally update. My update is not on my site but it’s gonna be on Ms.Nikks site sometime this week. So check back and check out her site.
