Wale and His Pretty Girls

So I noticed via twitter that many young women were upset with this new video. *Sigh* why ladies? Why continue to let a rapper validate your beauty? Now let me say this, THIS SONG SUCKS!! The video SUCKS. So if you felt misrepresented  then be happy you weren’ t embarrassed by an idiotic tune. This light-skinned vs. dark-skinned nonsense has to stop. When will you learn that regardless of what color, size, shape or hair length you have you are beautiful?

Men have toooo much power over us as women. They have power over our relationships, how we love and how we feel about the beauty that we have within. It sucks. This video showed me that even a rapper has power over women he will never meet. He made so many women feel un-pretty. I never realized how many women let videos, validate beauty.

Ladies, don’t let Wale tell you if you are beautiful or not. Don’t give him and no other man that power over you. If you felt “pretty” before that then you should still feel the same way. I know most of the women offended had some insecurities as we all do, about their complexion. (Not saying all women are concerned with their complexion but we all have some type of insecurity.) I know light women who tan to be darker and women who are darker bleach to be light. Accept what God did for you. He created you in His sons image and Jesus was and is beautiful and in Gods eyes so are you!

Hopefully sometime this week I can blog about our insecurities as women and especially women of color. The video showed a rainbow of women. I saw all colors, sizes and shapes. So if you felt left out, check yourself. Ask yourself if you are maybe a little insecure about how you look because there was a few darker skin women in the video. As I said don’t let this video be that deep. Become WHOLE with yourself that way you can learn to take things for what they are and move forward.

*Shrugs* The video sucked and honestly this was the first song I heard from him. Not sure of the hype but whatever.

*MUAH*

Editors Note: Ugh you guys should know if Gucci is on a song, it will suck. #justsayin

It’s Not Your Business

Well it’s not. Sorry babe but I hate being the bearer of bad news but somethings just aren’t your concern. I was conversing with someone and they were saying that they wanted to speak with another person about a certain situation; basically they wanted to know where that person’s head was. And why this person never fulfilled the obligation that they should have. (Could you follow the story some?) I knew that the person was really just angry about the events that took place this past week and that maybe, just maybe, their emotions were getting the best of them. Now this person is not a nosy person, so don’t feel that way. I knew it was out of concern and an emotional state they were in. While on the phone I was in agreement because I was also curious to the situation. Then I hung up. Well let’s just say, I am a thinker and I will drive and think about ALL conversations to make sure what I said lined up with my REAL feelings.

They didn’t line up. I began to check my comments and think about the situation at hand. I knew that she was upset and hurt. I knew that she was letting herself live in her feelings and so was I. So what I am trying to say is we can’t just always live in our emotions and feelings. Our feelings can sometimes hurt someone else or cause unnecessary strife towards each other. The older I get the more I feel I gain wisdom and understanding during certain situations. This was one of those situations I felt that God showed me that maybe we were wrong.

I told myself if the situation is mentioned again, I would let her know that I feel it’s a bad idea. I feel like people should volunteer information not be butchered into telling. I know that eventually, the person will open to what they were feeling during the situation and everyone will have the closure and peace they need. I know that sometimes family feel this entitlement to know everything but sometimes you shouldn’t know so much. Knowing things can sometimes hurt you in the process.

This post wasn’t meant to say much but I have some feelings that I want to begin to express. I hope to blog more but certain events have kept me from blogging and tweeting. I pray that people learn when to ask question or state comments and when not too!

*MUAH*

“I Forgot Obama Was Black”

This will be quick and sweet. I can honestly say I was not offended by this. For one the statement was ignorant but there was some truth behind what he said. I took this statement two ways. My first thought was; finally Obama is not being looked at as just a BLACK President but just as A President. For the past year and a half,  most of us are still labeling him as President Obama, the Black President. We are still looking at him based on the color of his skin. I know so many of us, including myself, was very excited about him winning. But I knew eventually I would have to stop looking at his color and judge him based off his works. I felt when he said that, he was trying to make that point.

Now my second interpretation was; sometimes we as blacks don’t always carry ourselves with poise and intelligence. Obama speaks with such grace and when he talks it’s so encouraging and uplifting. We don’t always do this. So when he said it, I felt bad because, it was a wake up call that we need to teach our children to speak correctly and not speak the Gucci Mane slave talk. So his ignorant statement could have come from us talking as if we have no education and no respect for ourselves. We have to prove people like him, or with like mind sets, wrong about us.

They tend to feel we are stupid and don’t want to do anything but live off welfare forever. Not the case for some but for many that is fine with them. We have to show him and others that they will not continue to make such statements about us because we are regular people, who are smart, charismatic, beautiful and full of poise and grace. I sat back on twitter and watched so many people get angry and worked up over something that was so small and silly. I felt Obama may have gotten what Mr. Matthews was saying.

Now this is not taking from the fact, that the statement was stupid. But this should make us realize we have a lot of work to do. Obama can’t be the only AA speaking with some type of intelligence. If you read the post below this one, you will see that I am speaking truth. Our words and actions play a big part on other races degrading and looking down on us. Let today be the last day they do that. Let Mr. Matthews statement be the last of his kind. Educate our young kids so that they can hold intelligent conversations. I see so many kindergartener singing the newest Nicki Minaj song but can barely count to five successfully. I won’t continue to ramble but just know this; You should look at things before getting worked up over silly things. Ignorance breeds ignorance point-blank. I said this last night in about to his statement. He was being ignorant and the people who worked themselves up disrespecting him did the same.

*MUAH*

P.S. Did you notice more white people were upset over his statement than blacks? I saw a few people tweet that same thought besides me. I wonder why?

Black Designer Labels

 Sigh, did you really think I was talking about clothes? It’s about the labels that are often put on us as black women. A woman in general deals with so much being said or done to her but I feel like there are times when we deal with more. What are black designer labels? Bitch, hoe, slut, trick, chicken head, Becky and so many others names that continue to degrade us. My question is to you; why do you continue to let him put you down like that? Even when I was in my teen years, I knew that being called out of my name is not something I was willing to put up with. 

Now I will admit I fell into the trap of letting my “homegirls” call me Bitch or hoe but once I got older, I realized if you let your friends call you out your name, why not let him? So I got to the point where no one will label me as less than my worth. See, I know a few women may come on here and feel that there is no harm in it. But it is. It’s saying to men it’s okay for you to talk down to me. It’s okay for you to embarrass me by labeling me as just a piece of trash.

I know with the generation we are in today, females tend to call each other these “labels” and feel they are uplifting each other. Ladies, what you don’t realize is, he is watching and listening to everything you do and say. So when he hears you and your friends throwing these words around, he begins to feel that it’s okay for him to throw them around also. These words are not innocent! Why? Because, what if you and him are comfortable tossing around these words to each other in private, then you go out somewhere and make him angry and he throws it at you in front of several people. Do you still feel the same about it being an innocent word? Do you still feel that it’s no big deal? What if a woman, who is not your friend, decides to call you one of the labels out of anger, then is it still so innocent?

So do you guys see what I am saying? Or at least get where I am going with this? These words are not only painful but they are keeping us down as black women. They are letting people outside our race continue to degrade us or feel we are not intelligent, beautiful women because of what they are hearing come out of our mouths. What we say to each other has some serious affects in our lives. Now I see women calling themselves a Bitch. Ma’am where are you going? Not only are you putting yourself down but you are opening the door for another Gucci Mane song to be named after you. Sigh, I won’t even get on the music that continue to use these words. I fell into that trap too! I thought it was okay for a rapper to say women are bitches and hoes. Why? Because my excuse like so many others was, if he is not directing it towards me then why should I care. I care now! It’s not right for them but eventuallly they will stop once we do. Stop going around saying you are a BOSS BITCH. Just go and be a boss. It’s okay to be great without the ugly label.

Don’t expect respect from anyone, especially a man! A real man or woman would not let these words come out their mouths about others. They would know that when you are intelligent, you can find more mature words to use besides Bitch or hoe. I always feel there is a lack of respect, vocabulary and just pure ignorance to the harm you are causing when you say these words. So, I know I am going to probably get some backlash from this but I feel it’s time to let these “labels” go. We have others but you know I will have a part two right?

*MUAH*

Dedicated To You!!

I will be dedicating my next few blogs to MY women, African-American Women. Why? I have so many things I want to say and my blog is the outlet for it. I began to speak or blog about us this past week. As one of my followers said, I sent out love to you guys and I want to continue to put positivity into OUR world. I also want to shed light on the issues and setbacks that we tend to face. I feel as if we don’t always have outlets to say what we are feeling or when we do, many people feel that we are just bitter, angry or whatever negative stereotype that are placed on us.

It’s not fair and here will be the place where I will put my feelings and emotions about certain issues. I would love your opinions and thoughts about the things I post. If you have a particular post you would like written let me know. I know there are so many of us hurting in the world for so many reasons. I want to, in some type of way, slowly help to build us back up. We are strong, beautiful and intelligent women who need to be shown in a positive light. This blog will be the place to do it. I will point out our flaws also because we have them. You can’t grow if you only look at the positives in your life, we have to view the negatives also.

So I will wrap this post up but I want you to know that even though I don’t personally know you; I LOVE YOU and there is nothing in this world that can change that. We have a bond that is stronger than any man, white person or stereotype can break. The day we were born we became connected just by our color and I want you to know that with our connection we can do so many great things TOGETHER!! Hopefully my post inspire, help or even just get a few people thinking. First post, Let Your Haters Be Your Motivators. (LOL don’t be too happy about me writing about your haters. You may feel differently when I am done.) 

*MUAH*

P.S. Why in the world is Whitney Houston and CeCe Winans duet “Count On Me” on replay in my head LOL!

Lack of Encouragement Among Black Women

As a black woman I notice the lack of support and encouragement in our community among each other. Tonight I sent out a tweet that read, “FROM ONE BLACK WOMAN TO ANOTHER, I LOVE YOU!! I don’t think we tell each other that enough.” The reason I sent the tweet is because lately I have felt that black women don’t always support each other the way we should. 

I noticed that we don’t always tell each other that we have love for the other or pat our fellow sister on the back when she has accomplished a goal. That bothers me. Most of the time I hear us say, (excuse the French), “That bitch think she something since she got two degrees or since she got a Benz.” That’s sad because it means the other party doesn’t realize that they too, can carry out the same things. As children, most of us are not taught vulnerability and caring, we’re taught to get ours and not worry about anyone else. It’s sad but true. We sometimes have to learn these things as adults but some of us never do.

As adults we don’t know how to show support to someone we are competing with, someone we may not like or even our “friends.” So why don’t we encourage each other? Jealousy is one of the main reasons. I think that sometimes we have such a hard time realizing that we can all do great things in life. Sometimes it’s hard looking to the right of you and seeing the homegirl from down the street in a Benz when you’re still in a Hyundai. I know it’s hard, I get that but don’t get mad or jealous, go down there and congratulate her for her accomplishments because yours will soon be here. We are selfish sometimes too. Not wanting to see someone else get ahead or always just looking out for ourselves.

To sum this up, we have to learn to support each other. It wish it wasn’t so hard for some of us, yet it is. Black women have to learn to pat each other on the back when someone accomplishes a goal. We need to start teaching young girls these lessons at an early age, so that they don’t grow up not understanding how to genuinely love their fellow sister. I don’t want us to continue to go on in life not being there for one another. We have to learn to pull together in the time of a crisis for each other. Let your sister know she is not alone in any situation in life. Hug your “friend” from time to time to make her feel loved. Tell her you love her because you never know how it may change her day.

I know this was long but it was heavy on my heart.  I love every woman who reads this blog, whether black or white. But FROM ONE BLACK WOMAN TO ANOTHER, I LOVE YOU!! Today find at least one of your “friends” and tell her that and see what happens.

MUAH

Haiti Relief

I know we all heard the news about the earthquake that hit Haiti on Tuesday. Words can’t express how horrible the families must feel during this time. Not only have so many lost their lives but they have lost homes. Some people are still in search for their relatives or friends with hopes that they are alive. I know a lot of people feel since they know absolutely no one in Haiti they feel it’s pointless to donate. Regardless if you have family or friends in Haiti give. It shouldn’t matter if you know anyone, they need you regardless. So do what you can. This post won’t be long but I just want my readers to give or try their best to help because now it’s needed. I will be doing my online donation in the morning. I know some people are tweeting that they will be visiting Haiti. Below are a few places you can go to give!

I saw this site on twitter so check it out to see who you can make donations to. www.knowyourhaitirelief.ning.com

Red Cross will also be taking donations during this time. You can send $10 to the Red Cross by texting “HAITI” to 90999.

Wyclef started a site to help his home town in this tragedy. You can text Yele to 501501 to make a $5 donation. Also if you don’t want it to show up on your bill, you can visit the website at www.yele.org. They will be also taking donations there. From my knowledge 1 million was raised in one day, so I know we can all do more.

You can also google Haiti and see who will be taking donations. UPS I think will be letting people send free care packages. Before you give your money to anyone because people will scam during this time. Check them out through the Better Business Bureau. Do what you can. Whether it’s a dollar or $200 it counts for something.

Editors Note: American Airlines will be flying doctors and nurses to Haiti free of charge. So if you are either I urge you to go over and help. I am sure they are limited on not only medical staff but supplies also. You can check out the American Airlines site to find more information about the free flight. Also, you can make shoeboxes for them. Check out http://www.shoebox4haiti.com/. They are in Ga. but I am sure if you are somewhere else you can still make them and UPS them or drop them off at your local Red Cross. I will be updating this particualar post anytime I find new ways we can help.

MUAH

Lets Talk About Pep!!

Can I just say I enjoyed VH1 new show about Pepa Denton. You may remember Pepa from the rap duo ”Salt and Pepa”. Her and Salt recently did a show on VH1, I can’t remember the name and I watched but it wasn’t nearly as good as I think this will be. I was so proud that for once in a few years we were not made fun of on national television. BET, MTV and VH1 enough is enough. Start producing shows to uplift the black community not tear it down. I digress. The show follows four women around while they go on dates in hope of finding a lifetime partners. Now I enjoyed it because I felt for the first time I was watching the black Sex and The City.

These women were classy and yes Kittie is loud but  she wasn’t obnoxious. I enjoyed their different personalities. Each woman was successful and each personality was unique. Jacque reminds me of myself. Career driven but now she finds herself single and longing to have a child. She is the more subtle one. Pep and Kittie were my favorites, just because of the fact that on their dates they knew what they wanted and went for it. I honestly wish I had friends like this where I can sit and just talk to them. I think everyone should tune in and support good television. It’s ironic that everyone is starting to talk about black women being single. Maybe I was the only one who put the show and ABC news clip together? Any who it comes on Vh1 on Monday night at 9!!

Muah

Beauty Crutches

My last post was about Nicki Minaj and her being a confidence booster. Well, as I was responding to a comment, I started thinking about the fact that being a Barbie is like a crutch for the young women that claim that. For them it could be all they have to feel pretty. Then I started thinking about the fact that as women, we all have crutches for beauty. Now, our crutches aren’t as silly as these girls or women but we have them. My crutch is make-up. Yes, I think I am pretty but as soon as I put on make-up I feel beautiful. So for me that is a crutch. It helps boost my confidence to another level and that’s something I need sometimes. It gives me something that I may not have on a particular day. I don’t wear it daily but when I need it, I put it on.

Some crutches could also be designer clothes, shoes, bags, plastic surgery and many other things. But these things are considered acceptable because majority of people have them. Now I am not saying every female who wears designer clothes or make-up use it as a crutch but enough do. Some women will never leave the house without a full face, designer outfit and whatever else. Those clothes make them feel beautiful, it gives them a boost of confidence that they wouldn’t have in a Wal-Mart outfit. To basically sum this up, we all have them some are just more normal than others. So if no one is stopping you from having yours, what is the purpose of you knocking them for having theirs? Now one day I pray that they are able to see their worth is more than just a Barbie doll. I hope that us other women find out our worth is not in our clothes or make-up because once it’s all gone that’s all us. Strip it away and you have the real you. So don’t knock them for being a Barbie but encourage them to know that they can be and are worth so much more.

MUAH

Nicki Minaj= The Confidence Booster

I know some of you are gonna be like, Je’Tara has lost her freaking mind but I haven’t I promise. I like Nicki for mutiple reasons. I like her silly raps because to me they are hilarious. But one thing that stands out about Nicki is her confidence. Obvisously, Nicki is very confident in the way she raps, looks and dress. (We all seen her on 106 and park she has to be a confident woman to dress like that.) She calls herself the Harajuku Barbie, and so does her fans. That is why I like her. See everyone is making these little jokes about these women calling themselves Barbie and not being beautiful. But everytime you knock down their confidence Nicki brings it back up.

I watched one girl get slaughtered on twitter because she called herself a Barbie. Yes, a few of the jokes were funny but it got me thinking, why are we making fun of these young black girls (majority of the girls who call themselves Barbie are black) who wouldn’t normally be this confident because they call themselves Barbie? After I thought about it for awhile, I came to the conclusion that even though I wish they would chill with this Barbie talk, I won’t be one of the ones making fun of them for doing it.

Being a black woman who has some extra weight on her I know how it feels to need that extra confidence booster. For me it was “Booylicious” for these girls it’s Nicki. So stop telling them not to call themselves Barbie because if it helps them feel pretty then by all means let them be. I hope that one day they don’t have to resort to the whole “I am a Barbie movement” but for now it works. So Nicki keep giving them confidence in that department because some of them need it. (Try to tone down them outfits though, we don’t need them dressing slutty.)

Muah