I ask this question because recently, I read a blog about relationships and titles. The blog was written by a man and he felt that until he put a title on you, romantically y’all aren’t anything but friends. Now, as I read this I was thinking to myself, why does he get to choose whether we are anything or not? Umm he doesn’t get to choose . I even read the comments which is rare for me because they are always bogus. He had a few peeps who actually agreed and surprisingly they were women. (Women agree sometimes just to stay in good graces with men).
Now I am not saying that he didn’t have valid points. The only thing that bothered me was the fact that, it seems as if he is not upfront with his *special friends*. I almost felt as if he leads women on and then, when they step to him he tries to justify the situation by blaming them. I think he likes the *thought of the relationship* just not willing to get caught up emotionally. (I am the same but I am also more honest about my feelings). It’s nothing wrong with being kissing friends or friends who just hang out and chill. No harm at all but when you don’t be honest from the beginning and tell her what you are feeling YOU become the reason as to why she gets emotionally confused. Any guy I have met recently will tell you that I am upfront on what we are. I will tell you I don’t like you in a heartbeat and let it go. We still remain friends but you know whats up.
For example, me and a guy friend decide that we want to start being *kissing friends*. Well neither one of us has said how we would make this work, or even if this pretend relationship could be something more. We continue on and one of us catch feelings. Well, it’s both our fault because we never acknowledged the fact that one of us didn’t want more from what we were doing. So we both end up losing a friendship because we were having fun but weren’t being honest with each other.
Women are wired differently than men. We sometimes are more emotional and we get easily attached. We can’t always help our feelings. The only time we can control them is if you are honest enough to tell us you don’t want us. You can’t expect us to read your mind. Actions speak louder and clearer than words. Even though the writer said that, he also felt like silence speaks enough for itself sometimes. He said that if he doesn’t tell you he is attracted to you in any way, then you shouldn’t be getting caught up. *side eye* excuse me sir but more than likely you are attracted to me because if you wasn’t, kissing me would not be part of the deal. You wouldn’t want to do anything physical with me.
Like I said he had some valid points. We as women have to stop assuming that just because we are kissing him, that make him ours. We have to learn to use their mentality from time to time. We can’t always get so caught up. We have to learn to play this game a little better than them. They love doing this because when they are in control they can walk away when they feel like it! It’s that simple for them. We need to do the best we can and adopt that mentality.
Don’t get it twisted though, men get attached just as much sometimes. That’s why it’s hard to read their silence. Silence for them can mean anything. He said that we have a da Vinci code to relationships sometimes. I agree, sometimes we read too much into it but we wouldn’t if you would say whatever is on your mind. You hurt us more with your silence.
I still want to know what makes him think that a relationship is up to him? You both have to come to the same conclusion. Now there are some stalker women out there that assume once kiss makes you theirs. I got him on that. He is not automatically you bf.
I don’t know what type of young ladies he kissing on but if they let him dictate how they control their feelings then, they are about as interesting as he is. (Interesting is a word I use when I am not too sure as to what else to say). When I was done reading I came to the conclusion that he likes to be a playa somewhat. I feel the only reason a man will not tell you that they don’t want you is because of the fact that they know once the cat is out the bag, you will not deal with them anymore. See, if he was to be upfront with these ladies and say, I don’t want you at all then more than likely they wouldn’t be physical with him and he knows that. That’s why a lot of men don’t say anything they know you will bounce or at least not give them what they want if they are honest.
So see Mr. your blog was really just saying, “Hey ladies, I won’t tell you that I am not into you because I like all the *fun* we are having. And I know once I tell the truth the fun will be gone and more than likely so will you.” Because more than likely she will not assume that she is your gf if you don’t let her play that role.
*Muah*P.S. I think one of them chicks opened up a can of worms on him so he blogged his feelings ahead of time for the next chick! hehe I still like reading dudes blog though he just say the darndest things! I was weak writing my own blog thinking about them chicks snapping on him!!!