I think that’s what some of you say when choosing a man. Ladies do you think we settle for less than we deserve? That was my twitter question yesterday and I got some interesting answers. Most women agreed that we do settle, but then I had a few guys answering; so I had to make the question for them too. And of course they said that they settle also. After I got enough answers I started asking WHY? Why do we settle for less? Why do we feel its ok to just take what we can get? It has never made much sense to me but, I can honestly say I have never found myself in that situation. One of the main reasons I think I never went through that is because, I had a great father figure in my life that showed me how a man should treat his wife and children. Not saying that he didnt make mistakes but he played that role for me. So I think thats why a lot of situations I see chicks going through I never worry about because I am not just looking for anything. I digress but I watch other chicks deal with taking what they feel they can get or just saying you will do for now.
One reason I think women settle is because its convenient. ( I actually wrote a song about that sometime ago) A lot of times as women we dont want to be alone, so we end up taking whatever we can get. ( Or whatever we THINK we can get) That’s not good. We as women should be more selective when it comes to choosing who we date; or spend the rest of our lives with. Sometimes thats easier said than done. Why put yourself through all that stress of dealing with all his baggage? I rather be alone and happy than be with someone and stressed out all the time. When you settle you convince yourself that you are happy and that you are in love with that person. Which might not be the case. You fool yourself into thinking that you can change him or make it work. I am not willing to change no man or make it work.
We get lonely sometimes also and we end up dealing with someone bc they will do for the present time. Even though we know they aren’t long term what’s the point of dealing with them? Women have to learn to be alone and by yourself that way you will learn what you do and don’t like and what you will put up with and what you won’t. It’s nothing wrong with chilling with YOU! It will save you from a lot of heartache and pain. Don’t get to that point that you are so lonely you settling for any man or woman. Then you will start convincing yourself that the situation is ok.
I am not bougie or anything but if I got a benz ( I dont but I will) and you got a pinto umm boo where we going absolutely nowhere. If I have plans and goals and you dont, boy bye. I am not taking less than I can get. I don’t want to be with someone that just rides off of what I do and don’t contribute to anything. You don’t have to be balling, but you need to be trying. Im just saying.
If I dont settle in life why would I do it in my relationship? That doesn’t make sense to me. Some of the most successful women end up with raggedy men. No boo leave his hood butt in the hood because you can not change that disaster and same with men. That’s a pet peeve of mine. I dislike seeing successful people dealing with people who deal with raggedy people. It doesn’t add up and they always try and defend that situation, but if you can choose who you end up with you better choose wisely because if you don’t you, will be with someone who will just do for now.