This question has been around probably since Jesus walked the earth. It has been debated so many times by me and my friends, and none of them seem to really have an answer. Personally, I think men and women can be friends, but you have to know what kind of friends you are. Because of course there are different ones. One of my besties is a guy and to be honest I have always been closer to guys than gals. It’s easier for me because I relate mentally better with men. Seriously, I have always been able to talk to guys unless I have a thing for them then I get all nervous. So here are some of my friendship categories.
Just Friends: Nothing is there but a friendship. You all may hang together but both parties know that nothing will ever happen. Neither gets jealous when the other is dating someone. Both respect the relationship enough not to try and make something out of it. This is my favorite and the one I always have. This friendship takes a while to build also because in the beginning it may start out as attraction; but you all learn so much about the other, that you know it’s no way y’all could date or anything for that matter. This relationship is like a brother/sister type thing.
Affectionate Friends: Friends who may just kiss, snuggle, hold hands every once in a while. This friendship to me personally is the most dangerous because feelings could become involved. It can become confused with wanting a relationship or even being in one. These type friends spend enough time together to become a couple, but they know if they do it could possibly end badly. So they just continue to play bf and gf. They also tend to get jealous when the other do decide to date someone. These friends also may argue a lot about feeling neglected or the other dating someone else. This is the type of friendship that should be avoided at all cost because when it’s like this its impossible to be friends.
Cut Buddies: A lot of peeps have these now days. This one can be dangerous when done wrong. (It shouldn’t be done at all but for those who choose too) Now you have some peeps who can umm, engage in relations and not ever have any feelings for each other or even really care too much about the other person. These friends understand the role that they play in each others life and they know that at anytime the friendship can end. It doesn’t matter to them if the other person decides to date or not. They can feel free to do whatever they want, because they have no feelings involved. They can go out as friends and it be casual. When done wrong these two peeps can end up catching feelings. Or just one catch feelings and when cut loose they have some serious problems on their hands but if you can handle it then do your thing.
So can men and women be friends? My answer is YES you just have to pick which category your friendship falls into. You have to set boundaries up front. A lot of men especially tend to play with this friendship thing. If you don’t want her to fall for you in any way shape or form then don’t treat her like she’s your girlfriend same with you women. Don’t be going out on dates like you all are a couple because that could end up bad. Don’t be introducing her as your girl because she could possibly take it the wrong way. Don’t be introducing him as your boo because he could be taking it as something going on. Treat your friendship like how you treat your same sex friendships. Chill together talk hang out but all the extra, cut it unless you can maturely deal with it, or you all have talked it out and came to the conclusion that you all can handle the situation, you all are getting yourselves into. Don’t discuss too much with each other because regardless y’all are still the opposite sex and no matter how good of friends you are LADIES some things he shouldn’t know and some things he doesn’t want to know. That can ruin a friendship also. He doesn’t have to know EVERYTHING about you and your man and what y’all do bc either he is going to be annoyed or he is gonna want to try you out for himself. Men that goes for you also. Don’t be telling her everything about you and your real gf. Make sure if you are friends that your significant other knows about the other person.