I thought of Destiny Child when I read the title. I asked a twitter question the other day. It was about women how they go overboard with their independence. You get a lot of random responses on twitter so I decided to stick with my conclusion on the situation. Now I must admit I am very independent. Majority of women don’t understand what independent is. Not every woman is independent her actions will show you that. So let’s discuss the real independent women. The ones men don’t want.
I shouldn’t have to explain what an independent woman is; you should already know. Like I said her actions will show you if she is independent. Ladies, some of us are going overboard with this whole independent mentality. We get so deep into the ” Ninja I don’t need you for nothing” speech; that we push them away and they eventually go and find someone who will need him. Then we are stuck single, and looking stupid, because he decided to go get a dependent broke chick! LOL (yes I really laughed) Seriously though, that’s what end up happening and we up trying to figure out where we went wrong. Ummm hello the answer is in his new woman. She showed him that she did needed him. Regardless of what you think so do you.
Men don’t mind when we are independent, what they do mind is when we are BOASTFUL about it. Or, we make him feel like there is nothing he can do to please us. A lot of times we talk about all the successful things we have accomplished. Then we start acting/thinking that we are better than him. That’s when you should know that you are going too far. It’s good of us to be proud of our accomplishments. As a woman regardless of race its hard to accomplish anything, but you don’t have to always talk about them. It shouldn’t be your main focus in your relationship. Now I mentioned DC for a reason. That song was made for women to brag about all the things they do. Majority of the song is saying ” I bought it” He don’t want to hear that all day. Example: say you bought your own ring ; you don’t have to tell the world that you did. That’s embarrassing but us independent chicks tend to do that. Don’t brag on what you do! He doesn’t like being embarrassed in front of friends just like you don’t.
If he’s laid off for a while, you don’t have to tell the world that you have to pay all the bills and pick up the slack. Some men probably like yours, want to work and he doesn’t want the world to know y’all are struggling, or that he can’t financially provide for the time being. Just do your thing and keep going.
STOP MAKING HIM FEEL BENEATH YOU. (I was actually talking to myself) Any who, for real, he shouldn’t feel like he doesn’t compare to you or that everything he does is not good enough for you. You don’t have to talk down to him because you’re may be more successful. A lot of men wouldn’t mind taking the backseat to a successful woman, but when nothing he does is good then there is a problem. You chose him! So you knew you was getting someone who, probably hasn’t accomplished as much as you. So don’t treat him like he is your servant or peasant because he’s not.
YOU ARE NOT HEAD OF YOUR HOUSE!! Sorry boo but you are not. So stop acting like it. You may think you run the house but you don’t; and if he lets you then you don’t have a real man. Just because you are the boss when you are at work, doesn’t make you the boss when you come home. You can’t go over his head on things. You have to let him run it; but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a say on how it’s ran. It just means you can’t come home telling him what to do.
Leave your Miss Independent attitude at the door. Use that in your field of work, not in your relationship because it will destroy it and you will end up alone. You be the woman and let him be the man and y’all will be just fine. Remember, it’s a reason why men are stronger than us so don’t try and be stronger than your man!
P.S. I honestly have to try and remember these things myself so I want be alone forever. hehe This pic is perfect!!