So remember how I was saying I don’t do the relationship thing? (If not read my post on cheating) Well I thought I would explain why I am like that and why I prefer a friend over a boyfriend. Of course I asked a twitter question about it and most want a partner over a friend. I can understand why because the companionship part of it is awesome. There is always someone there and someone to talk to.
Ok so I prefer a friend over a bf because as of now I am too selfish to commit to someone. (I can admit that some of y’all need to learn to admit that) I am more concerned with me and my happiness than about someone else’s. I am not willing to sacrifice my time, money or emotions. I feel like in relationships you have to be willing to give bits and pieces of yourself to that person and as of now that’s not something I am willing to do just yet.
I am a very private person (and I know since I am on twitter that may seem weird) but I am. You can’t be private in relationships. You have to be open and honest when being with someone. That person should make you feel comfortable enough to open up and be truthful about your past, present and future self. Now for some, speaking about your past is nothing, but for me it sometimes is the hardest convo. So emotionally I would not be with him. I wouldn’t want to talk about certain things. I don’t like to open up about what I am feeling so often I hold things in. So if we are having problems you wouldn’t always know but my expressions would speak louder than words. So sacrificing my emotions would = a negative. And we won’t even get on money! (My money ain’t nothing to play with). I work too hard to buy you anything! *POINT BLANK*
Another reason is because I am honestly afraid of what a relationship would make me do. I see men and women giving everything they got and losing themselves in the process. That scares/bothers me because I am not willing to lose myself for a man. It’s like taking on someone else and letting yourself go. That’s too much for me now. I can’t handle being in love and then something happens and we are not together anymore. I wouldn’t deal well. Peeps do some crazy things for love and right now I am not willing to do anything crazy just to have someone. I am not willing to give him all of me because I like having me right now.
Thirdly, in order for me to have a relationship with a man I need to fix the one with the man who helped to create me. My dad. I don’t think peeps especially women can have a good relationship unless the one with your father is good or you are at peace with the fact that he may not be around. Now, I am not saying mines isn’t there or I don’t know him (that ninja is an hour away) but our relationship is sucky and I will not start something with a man until I get that one together. It’s no way I will make something work without the peace I need with my situation with him. If I jump into something and it’s not fixed. I may go into the relationship looking for a daddy instead of a man and I definitely don’t want to do that. (That song saying I want a daddy annoys me but it says so much about young women)
Lastly, I got enough problems by myself let alone adding more drama to my life. I don’t want to bring a man into my life when I know I have a lot of things to fix personally. It’s not fair to him or me. Plus when in relationships it’s not always bliss sometimes you have problems and problems on top of problems is not good. So until I fix me I can’t add someone and make an us.
So hopefully you learned why I prefer a friend. With a friend I can control how much you know about me and how much time I spend with you and so on. I don’t have to give all of me for our friendship I can just do me. This is not saying that in the near future all this will go out the window and some ninja will break me down and wife me up (not literally). I may want a bf next week but as of today nada! So like I said BOYFRIEND WDDDA?