Lack of Encouragement Among Black Women


As a black woman I notice the lack of support and encouragement in our community among each other. Tonight I sent out a tweet that read, “FROM ONE BLACK WOMAN TO ANOTHER, I LOVE YOU!! I don’t think we tell each other that enough.” The reason I sent the tweet is because lately I have felt that black women don’t always support each other the way we should. 

I noticed that we don’t always tell each other that we have love for the other or pat our fellow sister on the back when she has accomplished a goal. That bothers me. Most of the time I hear us say, (excuse the French), “That bitch think she something since she got two degrees or since she got a Benz.” That’s sad because it means the other party doesn’t realize that they too, can carry out the same things. As children, most of us are not taught vulnerability and caring, we’re taught to get yours and not worry about anyone else. It’s sad but true. We sometimes have to learn these things as adults but some of us never do.

As adults we don’t know how to show support to someone we are competing with, someone we may not like or even our “friends.” So why don’t we encourage each other? Jealousy is one of the main reasons. I think that sometimes we have such a hard time realizing that we can all do great things in life. Sometimes it’s hard looking to the right of you and seeing the homegirl from down the street in a Benz when you’re still in a Hyundai. I know it’s hard, I get that but don’t get mad or jealous, go down there and congratulate her for her accomplishments because yours will soon be here. We are selfish sometimes too. Not wanting to see someone else get ahead or always just looking out for ourselves.

To sum this up, we have to learn to support each other. I wish it wasn’t so hard for some of us, yet it is. Black women have to learn to pat each other on the back when someone accomplishes a goal. We need to start teaching young girls these lessons at an early age, so that they don’t grow up not understanding how to genuinely love their fellow sister. I don’t want us to continue to go on in life not being there for one another. We have to learn to pull together in the time of a crisis for each other. Let your sister know she is not alone in any situation in life. Hug your “friend” from time to time to make her feel loved. Tell her you love her because you never know how it may change her day.

I know this was long but it was heavy on my heart.  I love every woman who reads this blog, whether black or white. But FROM ONE BLACK WOMAN TO ANOTHER, I LOVE YOU!! Find at least one of your “friends” and tell her that and see what happens.

MUAH

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5 thoughts on “Lack of Encouragement Among Black Women

  1. I love you too Je’Tara!!
    I also love this post. Coincidentally this very topic has been weighing heavy on my mind as of late.
    We are so powerful when we bond together and support each other but its a rarity.
    I think its because many of us have never been shown a tremendous amt of affection..I know I probably fit in that boat…
    But I try to compliment when I can and make my girlfriends feel good about themselves and make sure they treat themselves with respect….
    We are Queen Goddesses we need to start acting accordingly.

    • I Love You too!!!! And thank you ma’am!! I know I left out a lot of things but my emotions were getting the best of me. We are very powerful when we come together. It is rare and that is what bothers me the most. Affection is one thing we lack growing up. I can honestly say my folks are very affectionate which is why I am able to love another black woman without some hidden motives. Girl you got to hurry and come back to us on the blogosphere we miss you!!!

  2. OMGEEE!!! You are the BEST for this post…I just love, Love, LOVE IT!!! A lot of Black women aren’t taught to love themselves and also are taught to look at other women as ‘competition’ not as sisters.
    I agree we definitely need to uplift each other, being kind is often equated with being weak and it is really sad people think that way.

    • Thank you!!! You are so correct, so many aren’t taught to love themselves. It starts while we are children so as adults we can grow and begin to bond with each other. I so love you Meka, I swear you make me feel like I write for the NY Post or something LOL You and Goddess make me feel as if my post be so good. But girl talking to you last night was awesome because I was happy that someone knew where I was coming from. Now give me a new blog!!! LOL

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