The Friendship Market

Last night I was walking around my apartment thinking about all the friendships I have invested in. I am sure we all have had some Good, Neutral and Bad investments in the friend market. I know I have and the older I get, the more I learn how to pick and choose which stock will make my investments grow and which ones will cause my accounts to dwindle.

I started thinking about all of this when (even though it was something small, maybe) I was trying to explain to a “friend” that I would like their support in the things I am trying to do. I feel like anytime my “friends” (I use this term loosely) need support from me, I give it.

So when it’s not returned my mind wanders and I began thinking. For some reason, I began to compare it to the stock market. The times we are in, the market is very risky and it’s almost like playing russian roulette with your money and some relationships are no different. I decided to put them into categories so that I can start dropping them one by one.

The Good – These are rare.  The good is the best investment you can make. To me this one is more natural. You know right off that it’s going sky-rocket and that it was a smart decision to put your time into it. Good friendships grow from where they started. They mature as you get older and each party has a mutual love and respect for each other.

They make you smile or laugh even when you aren’t in the same room with that person. You can confide in them and not worry about everyone knowing the situation. They are also honest friendships. They won’t hold anything back to spare your feelings but they will say it nice enough not to hurt them. They want to see you succeed and will even help to get you there. These are not to be taken for granted. Your investment was well made with this one.

The Neutral – Neutral friends are the worse. Mainly because you can’t tell if they are for you or against you. They just ride the fence. They call you every blue moon just to be able to say that you all are still “cool”. When you see them they are grinning ear to ear as if you and them both are really happy to see each other.

They’re the ones that either you or them have each other on the back-burner. They aren’t necessarily negative towards you but not completely positive either. I would also call this the nosey friend. Neutral people will come around just for information and since y’all are on “good” grounds, they will feel no hesitation in asking about what they want to know. They get confused A Lot as the good investment. Their market is stagnant. They aren’t making you a profit but you aren’t losing anything either. It’s your choice whether to keep them or not.

The Bad – They smile and laugh with you, then turn around and subliminally diss you. These are the ones who never fully come out and tell you they hate you. But everyone else knows it. It starts off disguised as the best investment. It’s high on the market doing well and everyone is buying into it. Then it starts crashing. Then you realize it never grew a profit in the first place. Since it disguised itself you struggle to sell your share. You are steadily watching it crash but you keep holding on, praying that it rises up again when you know that it won’t.

Bad friendships have more fall outs than they have good times. BUT for some odd reason this crashing stock is fun.  They party, get drunk and are always around for the club but as soon as you really need them they are nowhere to be found. They are always with you when you are up but when you are down they tend to not have the time. You can never be honest with them because they feel as if you are hating on them. And they are always talking to people who don’t like you about you.

You never succeed with them either. As soon as you began to rise on your own, they pull you back. They find ways to hold you from reaching your full potential and tell you working at McDonald’s is okay because they are right next door at Burger King and they do not want to miss out on the trade-off.

Once it has crashed completely you finally sell it. Bad friends are the most hurtful. Especially during the divorce. They throw insults, try to take your dog, car and the house. They pull a Kelis and rob you of your hard work and manhood. (Okay maybe not the latter things but you get it.) They are the hardest to get over because they disguised themselves so well. You probably invested millions into them to only walk away with coins. (If you’re Nas, you’re paying back payments.) Sorry, sorry.

To wrap this up. Evaluate the people you call “friend”. Maybe not the way I did but figure out who really has your best interest, who’s stagnant and who has cleverly disguised themselves as your bestie.



7 thoughts on “The Friendship Market

  1. LOVED LOVED LOVED this one!

    For years I allowed myself to go back and forth wondering if a certain “friend” deserved the title “friend” and finally I realized she wasn’t neutral, she was a bad friend. Beautiful girl with an ugly inside and it radiated through, which was unfortunate for her.

    Since I’ve rid myself of the irritant I have been incredibly happy. I no longer stress going back and forth with myself wondering if she’s good or bad. Now I have good friends who I can trust with my life and vice versa. Life’s good.

  2. Absolutely love it!! A great way to look at friendships! I feel the exact same way as Nikks! That’s what my posts Friend or Foe were about; my realization that what I thought was a good investment was actually a bad one! So glad to be over it too! 🙂

  3. I L-O-V-E-D this post! I have the type of friends that don’t know my number until they need something from me. That’s so messed up but I always oblige them only because it’s hard for me to deny people my support or time. But you know what I have been thinking whenever people are unsupportive of me? It’s this quote from my favorite surgeon. “There are a lot of people that will discourage you. Avoid the naysayers; don’t tell them your dreams. Surround yourself with people who support your ambitions.” Dr. Ellis. I wish you success in whatever you do! 😀

  4. My gawd you’re writing is getting better and better, I absoluetly loved the stock market comparison.
    I havent had major friend drama in a min.
    In fact I’ve just been so selfish and absorbed with myself and my work that if ppl were talkin about me and plotting against me I wouldn’t even know it.
    But I am aware of a few friends who I’ve grown apart from that prolly want to see me dragging in the dirt again…but the bad news 4 them is that when I’m down I dont stay there too long.
    My advice for anyone going thru the process of figuring out who their friends are- DONT.
    The more you focus on the process of elimination the more you become obsessed with the whole concept of “what about your friends?” it’ll eat you up.
    Develop a mantra for yourself and stick with it…as far as I’m concerend everyone regarldess of how long i known you and what shcool we went to, is on the same playing field.
    Now thats not to say i dont have besties, but they are besties because I dont need to figure out shyt about them. We walk the talk. If you’re talking and cant back it up with a walk you will simply get left behind…straight liqor no chaser.

  5. Pingback: The Friendship Market — — The PULSE of Young Black America

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