Fuck! I’m Still Single.


Why are you still single? If you had a man you’ll be much happier.

“Some dick will do you good.”

“You need a husband to take care of you.”

Yes I know you’re thinking people don’t say things like that to you. Think again. I’ve heard all of these statements before and yes they irritate me everytime I hear them. To know that there are people who genuinely believe that in order to find happiness a relationship is needed is crazy to me.

As a 26 year old southern woman with no bf, children and no genuine desire for a relationship. I’m viewed as a lonely, sex deprived future cat woman in the making. Now majority of the statements above come from men. A few women have agreed but most times men are the ones who think I need a man to save me. I honestly think that they believe that their penises are magic and it will find you happiness, cure loneliness and end world hunger.

I hate to be a bearer of bad news but being in a relationship is not the key to happiness. If that was the case, then people wouldn’t be running through gf’s every six months. Me personally I’m okay with being single. Right now in life I’m not concerned with sharing my time and energy with someone else. I’ve been focusing my brain power on myself and my future. Yes, I know it’s possible to focus on both you and a relationship but right now I’m not willing to do both.

Plus I’m busy. I work ten hour shifts and I have too much personal baggage to have to deal with someone else right now. I feel like I don’t have time but honestly I don’t feel like making time either. Relationships are work and I’m not ready to put any real work into someone else at the moment.


I see nothing wrong with women my age and older being single. There’s nothing wrong with being by yourself, which is most people’s problem right here. Scared to be by themselves, afraid to listen to their own thoughts and learn who they really are. I want to find my happiness, so that when it’s time for a relationship that person will add to my joy and not be the only thing that brings it.

You ever hear someone speak about their marriage and they say,

things didn’t get better when the baby came, they got worse. The baby couldn’t fix our marriage.

That’s how I view happiness or sadness before a relationship. Whatever you’re feeling prior to being in a relationship may temporarily get fixed but in the end those original feelings will resurface.

I understand why some of the people in my life feel that at my age I should be closer to marriage or at least pregnant. It’s all they know. A lot of southerners are taught that you need God, a spouse, a job and a few kids to have a decent life. Most people I know live that life I just mentioned, which is why I’m not too bothered by their statements.

More than likely I’ll be single the remainder of the year and I’m okay with that. Being single is not bad at all. It doesn’t have to be a lonely feeling and you don’t have to be depressed by it. I’m sure not. I’m finding myself and honestly I need to be alone in order to hear God and not be distracted. Find your happiness first then jump into that relationship. Sure you’ll like it better that way.

Je’Tara

P.S. I do my post on my phone so English majors excuse the grammatical errors.

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